what's missing from handball

December 18th, 2004

It occured to me today what would make handball a more interesting sport to watch. They show a lot of handball on Norwegian tv, always the Norwegian women's national team that's playing in some tournament.. *yawn* I imagine they persist with the women's team because they have better results. Or it could be because they are prettier to watch. Well whatever the reason. The point if you watch something really pointless long enough, there is a good chance you will sooner or later think of improvements. I suppose the 3 minutes per year over the past 7 years have accumulated to such an amount which would qualify for that situation, because today I came up with something that would improve the sport for everyone.

You know how American sports fans often talk down on soccer, saying it's not a "real man's game" because they don't fight enough? Well the same could be said for handball. Handball is much more violent, they push, shove, pull each other with no restrictions and the sport in itself is one step away from a fist fight. But they never fight, do they? I know what you're thinking, women fighting, how ridiculous, cat fights don't qualify as a sport. But these are not regular women, they are huge and strong. Sometimes you will see an attacking player trying to make a shot on goal and you have two defenders hanging off her arm and she still gets a shot out of it. I don't know how that's even possible but it proves that these ladies are not your standard women, they are made for fighting. A handball player would kick my ass, she'd kick your ass too, both of us at the same time, they are really mean. So why not do the logical thing and let them fight?

Afterall, what is it that makes boxing so popular? I don't get it, I don't like it myself, I think it's boring. But a lot of guys love watching that, so there must be something to it. Hockey? fights. Football? ramming into other players. Basketball? not a real contact sport, for wussies. Soccer? don't even go there. Say what you want but fighting is popular. So why not bring that excitement to handball? Think about it, all those guys getting together on a Saturday night, everyone bring a case of beer and they sit down to watch women's handball. Women who fight much better than they do and could beat them up anytime.

How would the handball federation like to increase support for their sport by say 200-250%?

:: random entries in this category ::

4 Responses to "what's missing from handball"

  1. Erik says:

    Hey, I'd watch it :D

  2. numerodix says:

    Though it occurs to me that maybe we should give them some helmets. They're so tough I doubt they need them but just in case, those lawsuits could get messy.. So if we give them helmets we can make them sign a liability statement and everybody's happy. :party:

  3. Graham says:

    Sounds a bit Blatter-esque, don't you think? :)

  4. Graham says:

    Oh wait, had he even made those comments at the time you posted this?

    The "random entries in this category" thing is great :)