What to do when a once incredibly meaningful relationship becomes a struggle? Do you perservere or do you crumble once you realize you're banging your head agaist the wall no matter what you do? What's worse, it could all have been prevented had you not been so dumb to begin with. Yes Martin, you're not a kid anymore, what you do affects people and that's why you can't sleep right now. What do you do when you deserve nothing and you're also incredibly pissed for not being able to fix what you f. up in the first place? Do you stay cool and hope (not hope, believe) everything will work out fine? I did that for a while. Then I had a little bump of heads with reality and it dawned on me that things in life are not gonna be fine just through hoping. So then it started getting to me and it's been almost a week and I'm still stuck. That's right, I'm back to doing what I do best, obsessing about it. :wallbang::wallbang::wallbang:

But back to the original question, what to do when it becomes a struggle? Do you just let it go? Give up on that relationship? Accept that it may never be what it once was and that you should maybe start looking around for some new people? It's not an obvious choice because once you resign from it, you know the odds are very slim that it's ever gonna feel the same. I wish I could distract myself so I didn't have to make this decision. But I know if not know, sooner or later I will have to. F. it.

More than anything, what do you say when you know you've given it your best shot and then some and you still failed? Someone should kick my ass.

It occured to me today what would make handball a more interesting sport to watch. They show a lot of handball on Norwegian tv, always the Norwegian women's national team that's playing in some tournament.. *yawn* I imagine they persist with the women's team because they have better results. Or it could be because they are prettier to watch. Well whatever the reason. The point if you watch something really pointless long enough, there is a good chance you will sooner or later think of improvements. I suppose the 3 minutes per year over the past 7 years have accumulated to such an amount which would qualify for that situation, because today I came up with something that would improve the sport for everyone.

You know how American sports fans often talk down on soccer, saying it's not a "real man's game" because they don't fight enough? Well the same could be said for handball. Handball is much more violent, they push, shove, pull each other with no restrictions and the sport in itself is one step away from a fist fight. But they never fight, do they? I know what you're thinking, women fighting, how ridiculous, cat fights don't qualify as a sport. But these are not regular women, they are huge and strong. Sometimes you will see an attacking player trying to make a shot on goal and you have two defenders hanging off her arm and she still gets a shot out of it. I don't know how that's even possible but it proves that these ladies are not your standard women, they are made for fighting. A handball player would kick my ass, she'd kick your ass too, both of us at the same time, they are really mean. So why not do the logical thing and let them fight?

Afterall, what is it that makes boxing so popular? I don't get it, I don't like it myself, I think it's boring. But a lot of guys love watching that, so there must be something to it. Hockey? fights. Football? ramming into other players. Basketball? not a real contact sport, for wussies. Soccer? don't even go there. Say what you want but fighting is popular. So why not bring that excitement to handball? Think about it, all those guys getting together on a Saturday night, everyone bring a case of beer and they sit down to watch women's handball. Women who fight much better than they do and could beat them up anytime.

How would the handball federation like to increase support for their sport by say 200-250%?

Juventus - Milan 1 - 0
89' Dhorasoo o.g.

The game dominated by dull, unspectacular football by Juventus who kept
tight at the back while Milan had 65% ball possession and fired 16
shots on goal, 3 absolute cannons denied by Buffon, 2 others deflected
inches wide of the post. At the other end, Zlatan was twice denied with
thundering shots from the corner flag in true Rivaldo fashion while
Nedved had 8 shot attempts, all of them blocked by Nesta/Maldini. Most
dominant on the pitch was Kaka, who outsmarted Emerson on several
occasions, one of them leading up to a controversial situation in the
box when Sheva chested down the pass and was clipped by Zebina from
behind. The referee booked Sheva for passive diving. Shortly
thereafter, a corner kick in favor of Milan, cleared by Cannavaro, who
launched a long ball for Ibrahimovic, the latter being 20m offside at
the time. The linesman was playing tetris on his mobile phone and was
caught out. Ibrahimovic pulled 7 fakes on Dida before the latter gave
up and stepped aside but he did agree to lob the ball for Ibrahimovic
who wanted to score from a bicycle kick. The lob was good but the kick
was less good, the ball was taken home by the young Milanista in the
uppermost row of the stadio. In the closing moments of the first 45,
Crespo came one on one with Buffon thanks to a gorgeous through ball
from Rui Costa but squandered it as he beat Buffon but not Chimenti.

In the 2nd half, Milan kicked off with a more offensive mentality,
effectively playing 2-3-1-4 as Cafu and Serginho pushed forward but
failed to track back. Taking advantage of the positional supremacy,
Kapo raced into the box and crossed for Del Piero who failed to connect
with the ball. At the other end, a cross from Serginho was received by
Sheva who powered a header on goal. But Buffon was equal to it and as
the rebound fell to Kaka, the referee inadvertently cleared the ball
into row z. Another corner kick was given for Milan moments later when
Cafu's header hit the post. The rebound was struck by Gattuso but it
was no good as Zlatan positioned himself in the air upside down to take
the ball down elegantly and pushed it out wide for Zebina. He then
tripped over Rui's foot as he was walking away for which the Portuguese
was sent off. Rui at the time was on the floor in agony after Cannavaro
clattered into him in an aerial challenge. In the 74th minute,
Camoranesi outfoxed Cafu and skipped into the box where he was
confronted by Nesta and fell under the challenge. Del Piero's spot kick
was saved by Gattuso who raced into the box. The referee booked Gattuso
and signaled a retake. Dida covered his eyes as Del Piero hit the post.
Precise on 80 minutes, Capello swapped Del Piero for Zalayeta, who
greeted all the Milan players on the pitch. Moments later, Zalayeta
played a back heel to Kapo but the Frenchman arrived late and the cross
was stolen by Maldini who launched Gattuso. Gattuso fed Crespo who
missed his ball reception but recovered as Thuram struggled to control
it as well, and fired between Canna's legs, hitting the bar. 5 minutes
from time, on the speakers in the Delle Alpi came "the Final Countdown"
to which Buffon started dancing. On 86 Zalayeta controlled a pass from
Thuram before he dribbled Nesta and Maldini but his lob was saved by
Dida who never came off his line. The goal kick was received by
Serginho at the corner flag but no offside was called. The Brazilian
crossed into the box as Tomasson was in route but the Danish striker
missed the ball. Instead it was recovered by Zambrotta who launched a
final attack before full time. Tacchinardi to Emerson, Emerson to Kapo,
Kapo to Nedved, Nedved to Ibrahimovic. Milan's defence was shattered as
Zlatan stood face to face with Dida. As he was about to take the shot,
Dhorasoo raced in to clear but inadvertently played the ball past his
own keeper. Ancelotti came running up and tried to strangle Dida but
Maldini pulled them apart. The 14 minutes of injury time saw Milan in
possession without exception, as Juve lined up inside their own penalty
box. 23 shots were fired, all of them off target, Buffon was still busy
getting his groove on.

Questioned about his team's performance, Capello was moderately
satisfied. "We struggled a lot through Milan's offensive pressure but
we showed strength in scoring the winning goal just before the whistle.
Ancelotti should learn to relax, those young people are too hot headed."

Last week I was having lunch at Burger King (isn't it about time they get an award for their lousy burgers?) because it's reasonably cheap compared to the alternatives. Anyway, I was holding my tray of food, making my way through the people in line and this one guy is in my way. The very first thing that came to mind (without saying it mind you :P) was: move, bitch. :D Interesting because I would never say that and I've never thought it before so it's gotta be an outside influence...

I had my driving exam today and I knew that with a little luck I could pass it. But I didn't get the best start this morning.. on account of my bio clock being all screwed up, I went to bed early last night, at around midnight. I knew I had to be up at 8 so I was hoping to fall asleep right away but of course that didn't work. :rolleyes: At around 2am, I turn off the computer to try to get some sleep again and maybe at 3-4 I actually did fall asleep. Well at least I won't oversleep cause I got my alarm clock, right? Wrong. It did wake me up at 7.45 but that doesn't help when the alarm clock is in a timezone of its own.. :wallbang: It was actually almost 8.30 and at 8.45 I was supposed to meet my driving instructor to take it for a spin before my test at 9.30. So, of course, no time for breakfast and I get there at around 9.

Slight mishap, all is well, right? Wrong. I just get in the car with my instructor and after 4 minutes I change lanes right before a traffic light. "Okay, good thing you did that now, cause now you're done with that. Everyone should make a mistake right before the test, that way they won't make the same mistake at the test." So we get there and he informs me that I have to go pay a fee to do the test. Thanks for telling me in advance :rolleyes:, I don't carry that kind of cash around and didn't have enough funds in my account to cover it with my credit card. So I look like a dumbass when my instructor covers the fee for me, well no big deal, moving on.

Then comes the exam. Why is it that all these state officials always look roughly the same? Older men, 50ish, black, ragged clothes, compulsive coffee drinkers, a moustache and talk in a way that makes them hard to understand.. Well my guy was quite okay, took an hour's ride with him heading for the airport outside of town. It wasn't too bad, I was in good shape and I thought I did pretty well. Today is cold so I had to keep the ventilation on otherwise the windows would get foggy. Didn't give it much thought so I almost suffocated us when I drove through a long tunnel and forgot to turn the damn thing off.. it didn't seem to bother the guy in the least.. :D Finally I'm right at the end of the hour and I get to an intersection with a car on the right, same exact situation that I messed up on my mock exam earlier this week. So I brake a little late but I stop this time. So after it's over he asks me how I thought it went, not too bad, guess again kiddo, apparently I drove waaaay too far on the left, especially at high speeds, said he was nervous from time to time.. but apart from that it was fine, weee..

So I go back to the place to get the licence and again they want me to pay up. Well I'm still broke so again my instructor covers it, now I look twice as dumb. I *was* gonna transfers some money into my account this morning but since I was so late I never go around to it.

Funny how that happens. All day it seems the universe conspired against me but when it mattered most, I was lucky. I didn't do any howlers on the exam, I did fine (apart from the driving on the left but I would have done that anyway). So when you really need to be lucky, maybe you should wish for bad luck the day before..

5 regular driving lessons, a day and a half of compulsory driving excercise and about 8000 kr later, I'm licenced to kill.. erm.. drive. :party: